so its up

talk in the works of a new show in spring maybe towards Feb(so even closer)
What will God bring to the table through me this time around?

um...

I don't know.. I just don't know

Cuando?...

Cuando?

entonces.....

Que se va hacer?...que podemos hacer?...es destino o no? pero la pregunta no nos deja con repuestas sino los dirije a pensar el significado de todo esto. Y eso es lo que nos confunde.. pero yo se que yo no estoy confundido.. y se que no esperabas esto...que yo contestara en esta forma ni en estas palabras.....que esperabas de mi.. un latino que se la hechava? O un hombre que no pensaba? vamos a ver que se puede hacer.. y no pensar o consentrarnos en el miedo sino en en nuestra fe que nos da fuerza y fortaleza...Nuestro Dios tiene la repuesta y nos dice que no temamos en nada.. si EL esta con nosotros quien contra nosotros?
--
Juan

entonces.....

Juan G SantosQue se va hacer?...que podemos hacer?...es destino o no? pero la pregunta no nos deja con repuestas sino los dirije a pensar el significado de todo esto. Y eso es lo que nos confunde.. pero yo se que yo no estoy confundido.. y se que no esperabas esto...que yo contestara en esta forma ni en estas palabras.....que esperabas de mi.. un latino que se la hechava? O un hombre que no pensaba? vamos a ver que se puede hacer.. y no pensar o consentrarnos en el miedo sino en en nuestra fe que nos da fuerza y fortaleza...Nuestro Dios tiene la repuesta y nos dice que no temamos en nada.. si EL esta con nosotros quien contra nosotros?
--
Juan

Did I....?

Oh Lord....
Did I do wrong?...Did I jump ahead? Did I run ahead of you and ruined your plans? Did I forget where you were at? Did I not hear you? Could you lease repeat what you said?.. Don't let me fall down and get hurt.....It hurts. It fills my heart with pain.. I worry at times and I know that I'm stubborn at times.. I'm sorry Lord. I knwo I can get ahead of myself. Abbahold me tight, don't let my heart be filled with sorrow. Don't let me go through that again... Teach me to be patient.. to just look towards you. To be able to wait on you..Did I do what you wanted me to? Am I putting a smile on your face.. Don't let me wonder off..Yes it has..for Your grace has made me righteous, Your rgace has left me walking in the clouds. Yuor blood has cleared that stain that couldn't be cleansed.. Your love will always guide me. You have amde your promises and you never let me down. Fill my heart heart with hoe and guide my thoughts for good. I grow tired of my walks and my stubbornness and I am ready to listen to your command. Fill me, tell me, Guide me.. Oh Lord you are my escape. You turn frowns upside down right side up and all around , you bring me peace and joy. Oh Lord don't let me fall again.. dont let my heart be stricken with pain.. I'm too weak for that my Lord. I shrivel with just a thought..of going down that path again.. Lighten me up and teach me what it means to just HAVE you... to JUSt need you...to JUST folow you...and ....YOU
--
Juan

I just cant

Well I thought my laptop was finally fixed today and that wasn't the case.
So I cant upload or scan any new work...and trust me there has been new work...
sorry guys....

Another Dream

So there I was on Dudley Street. Between Magnolia St and Alexander St. Close to Alexander St. The traffic was worse in the direction towards the rest of Dorchester(saving Hill Kane Sq and so on). as I was walking towards the bus stop I notice that the ground was wet from the rain that had fallen. and I lost control of the basketball that I had in my hands. Some of the other kids who were trying to control their basketball lost control of their balls as well. They collided with mine as the all stoped at a snow bank byt the end of the block. I grab thei rball to pass it to them and realize that their ball was full of fuzz.. and hair.. I pass the ball back to them quietly thinking they would start a fight with me if they thought I was trying to steal the ball. They all gathered around me to wait for th bus. Not really sure how and why I was there a girl came up, and one of the guys asked her if he could have her later on tonight for a "quick".."Favor" she agreed and he thanked her and stood there and waited for the bus. Out of no where a car came in front her and I got inside the drivers seat. They all decide to follow me and one of them decide to put out his blunt but not his cigarretee. I wondered how I was going to get of there, since the car was on the same side as I was .. ON the Sidewalk. well we tried but I was way to confused. "If only this car can get out of her" I look up to the sky and my car levitates and lands in between the other cars, scared and thinking oh now we are going to tr to get out.My car made it to the other side of the road(heading towards Dudley St,...back bay and so on)no car was on that other side just me as I drove the folks home.. they fit in my car.. we drove of.. then I woke up!!

Another Dream

ART SHOW

YES YOU READ THE TITLE RIGHT
I AM HAVING AN ART SHOW ON OCTOBER 24 2009 AND I WANT ALL OF YOU WHO CAN MAKE IT..WELL TO MAKE IT
The place is called
Eggroll Cafe
here is a link to their site so you can get the directions or address to add to your GPS
http://eggrollcafe.com/
more updates are to follow and stay TUNED!!!

I um..

I am on Awe as to where I am at.. where I am IN..and my battle continues. like the never ending battle Of Gijoe..Everyday after school at 3pm I would sit in front of the TV and watch that show. I really did enjoy it don't get me wrong it was the only reason I ever wanted to join the army/navy (which ever of the two it didn't matter) when I was 9 (ish) Their battle was everyday the same but new, fighting the same enemy. ..as I do...New attacks new attempts.. some of them may be repeats and for now they never end.. As the battle became larger I know I must've made "Cobra" mad, for now I am praying with power(Nintendo Power reference) and my battle rages on... I sit quietly on a stone that is higher than the Thunderdome.. my comparisons can be too cliche, but it reveals the truth of where I am at non the less.. and as long as you got that, that is the point. I am about o fall asleep..um yeah
Good Night

How?

How do I separate Fact from Faith?
or are they separated and I don't know where they are placed in my mind and my heart?
If I do know where they are at how do I weight them (are they in the category to weight? Are they in the same weight class?)
In the Abyss of my thoughts I find myself grabbing an untangible element, that is to big for me to carry, pull up into air and dry land(the the surface of my life)not alone at least.
I scurry to grab myself, to put myself together.
I thought I had more to work on, but I know I am not putting the pieces alone......

--
Juan

meat anyone?....or just trust??

(this is just a dream)
So as I walk to get some meat to help my getting rid of my gall stones, I could not help but notice that something was hidden from me. The air was flat and tasted bland as well. It was a graveyard with evaporated bodies. I come to a meat market and I find myself in line with a shopping cart..I felt my friend with me..but in spirit for I couldn't see her there. as I come to the counter I look deeper into what was on the walls and on the floor, Slabs and slabs of meat. blood spilled everywhere. The two middle eastern men dressed in white jackets, filled with dry animal blood(I hoped) asked me what do I want. I make a gesture as to say something but nothing comes out of my mouth. They drop a pigs head on my shopping cart along with its inner pieces. As i walk out I realize that there is meat every where, on the light post, on the street corner on the ground, flies covered the lights and the smell of dead animals covered the night. My friend kept walking with me as she was growing sick herself, she felt she needed to return her slabs of meat, confused because I didn't see her get any in the first place. I heard a voice tell me (from the skies)everybody is sick. everything around you is sick. Nothing is good and everything is spoiled. I was led to return the meat, in which my friend must have paved the way. as she was standing right there not moving by the counter in front of the 2 middle eastern men. I came to the counter in the night or early morning(it felt as if it were that wee time of the night when the clubs and bars had an hour or so of being closed) I mention that I wanted to return the meat. they paced around back and forth from behind the counter to the back room. that same voice said to my heart...in a v voiceless voice...trust me...even with the spooled food....The sensation of calm but not sure.. woke me up.. and it was time to go to work....

--
Juan

well then again..

Every time I am discouraged.. every time I feel fear...every time I felt angry... my temptations came near..But I thank God that so far I have been able to seek Him .....
Man I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I'm sure you get tired of reading such things..

--
Juan

check it out

new idea!!!

Well to finish of a piece I have been working on. I had to make the sketch so now to finish it! Here is what I plan!

then?..that meant?....

I look at every nook and cranny in my life. every crevice that my mind has and wonder why are you there?
Why are you and your friends fighting in my head? Thoughts, Ponders, Ideas, nightmares, dreams, curiosities, headaches, and my imagination.. What are you doing?
I "over do" you guys way too much. why can't you leave me alone? Why can't you just calm down? why don't you just chill out? Stop running at night and let me sleep? Stop looking into everything they say. STOP THINKING! Stop giving me hope, stop confusing my ideas. Stop distracting me from God's work, If only I can get rid of you!
.....dot dot dot....dot dot dot.......dot dot dot....dot dot dot...dot dot dot.....
--
End Note

Sorry Blog

Hey Blog, How it saddens me to know that I have left you in the back burner of my brain. But here is a few updates
JUANTOPIA.com is finally up so you can dig my new work
so please visit
www.juantopia.com
I do have few things blogging in my mind. I will see how it all goes on up there before I put them in here but I have some things brewing so stay alert.
Spraypainting soon so lets see whats up with that!
--
Juan

Yeah trust me when I say its worth it

Florence And The Machine - Live 2009

Galatians 5

19-21It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

16-18My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

25-26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.


What more can be said about this. The message is clear. Living our own lives just by looking at ourselves in the mirror all day isn't going to give us anything. Living a life set by rules is an empty life full everything you just read. A life full pointing fingers, a life full of "I's" is a endless cycle of nothingness.
Giving you cheap and mindless entertainment, which once its over you are back from where you started. or where you were, were you last left of. Bored and empty and full of holes. Poking at yourself even more for not being able to complete yourself.

Living by the spirit gives so much more. It re-energises us. It connects us to other people. It makes you an extrovert rather than keeping you an introvert. It opens doors of opportunity and it makes you a responsible man or woman. It takes the best in you and lets everyone know about you. Life will flow thru you that will impact those around you. It will give you presence in a room and humble you in a crowd. Your life will be open and even (dare I say it) carefree you won't waste time in mindless thoughts or worrying and concern, You will be lead by the spirit and live life thru Him who is in you. "A sense of compassion in heart" ..."A sense of compassion in heart"
What more can be expected? The most High will have you as the apple in His eye. Its what He expects from us. A life of faith. A life that Trusts Him He died for us and He(the Spirit) who He sent for us. And Thru His blood we have an endless connection with our creator. Look at 2 Samuel 22
7 A hostile world! I called to God,
to my God I cried out.
From his palace he heard me call;
my cry brought me right into his presence—
a private audience!

A private Audience, We would not be able to do this without our faith in Christ. his blood has allowed us to have such a connection.
We have this we have such a life. Let us make it a living in living our lives by the spirit. By Allowing the Spirit to guide us. thru it all.
All you need to do is trust Christ. That is it. Him only. Nothing else added. NO 6 hour prayers no 12 hour vigil. sure these things are great for the Christian walk. But in reality all you need to do is truly honestly(leave it with Him) Trust in HIM. His spirit will guide you he said so... Trust Him!

--
Juan