Thinking again!

I often wonder what is my purpose here as an artist and as a Christian. I am still searching for the answer, but I think I am searching for the wrong thing. Maybe I am not suppose to look for this answer say straight forward or theoreticall. Maybe I am suppose to just Follow my gut instinct in things and see that in light of my search I am discovering the answer in itself. I mean 'duh I'm not looking for an orb of an answer where all will be there and I don't have to sweat no more. But what I am looking for is more for a guidance what should I do and or where should I go. This leads me to believe that God is giving me an option after all. Maybe its before me all along and I just don't see it. This whole time, I would think He has control of our lives but in fact what He controls is not out lives (as in when we eat or when we work) but in showing us to better options. Its not like He holds our hands and walks us through the business district, its more like "hey theres a job here I know you can get, I got your back go get 'em tiger" I often hear people say God has control, but I never bother asking them what they meant or if they understood what they were saying. I still don't have everything with me yet, I do think sometimes that God frowns upon me, because of the things that happen in life, but in turn I often think about the great things he has done in my life, and wonder how he manages to balance Himself out like that . Well when I say frown down upon me its more like on one or two things. But I guess if I apply those thoughts from a few sentences before to that situation then maybe just maybe I may have the same result.
But who knows I would have to try out first