Answers!!

I get an answer that is in a form of a question. But the problem is that it hasn't been asked!. I wonder why these things continued to occur and why hasn't the Lord said anything to me...does He have to? No He expects me to just seek Him and I will know that I will find Him, in that I will be content with whatever comes into my life weather its good or bad. Confusing or frustrating! I often want answers but I never get them, I think its best that I just diligently seek Him and wait until he blesses me with His answer one question at a time. Why should I complain? He is never late or wrong. I am and always have been content with His response! I just forget and rush, I never respond to anyone rushing me, I do now understand how My lord feels when I am rushing Him. He just won't respond...What?!! He did make me in His image right?!

--
Gaby.....Juan

PRETTY WOMAN

This Is a Pretty Woman who kill hearts that beat!
This is inspired by a woman whom I meet recently, a woman who tried to get the best off me and she almost did. She has no real focus in life, although she think she does. This is why she has so many eyes. The bottom eye is arising form her skin breaking it apart and setting its eyes on something else. Out of her mouth she spews nothing but venom, lies and deceit. With her words she can stop any man in his tracks if he is not smart. I cannot say much about this woman except she has cause a great deal of confusion in my life. Although she is very pretty her soul has a dark tint that only God can clear. She has allowed herself to become this beast that grows uglier by the minute. She will try to steal your heart and feed of you agony and pain. Out of your confusion she causes irritation and frustration, she is never clear as to what she wants. And although I may still want her I know its best to depart!
If I am not careful she may steal mine and destroy it as the many men who have fallen before me. How she entices me with words and calls my attention, touches deep within my soul with her soft caring hands and gestures, how my body follows but my mind drifts of into space into my state of Nirvana and seeks answers from actions and questions from answers. How this woman misdirects me, how she plays games with my head, I depart from her, she can only be trusted for one thing and that is nothing. How sad that a woman can fill my heart with hate, anger and demise of my dignity(which I gladly saved most of) frustration. I often wonder how I fall into these situations, how these woman call my attention. Where is the magnet on me that attracts them to me? Why o Lord does this happen to me? Is it to inspire me to draw? to paint such masterpieces? well let me not count my eggs before they hatch I am still in stage 1 and it is a W.I.P. I would like to see this on cloth possibly silk. It emphasizes my definition and my intentions as well as my vision and message. Lets see what I can come up with.
The End?

--
Juan

Rattle Snakes

I often think that this is how my brain works!
..............and trust me there is more!.......
Fish Coffee
September 08

Well then?

Sometimes I wonder what is my purpose here in life. Why are the odds against me, or why do I think that they are, am I in the wrong part of the world, or was I born in the wrong time? Am I ahead of my time or do I not belong in any of the times? I ask Him(God) what it is, but he has yet to get back to me on that. I don't know. I don't know what is up or down any more. I feel like I'm in limbo and don't have anywhere to go. If I go left its the same thing and if I go right its the same thing. Its the same in any direction I go. So where too? Why am I the way I am and is there any benefit to my character and behavior? Do I need a benefit( no I really don't) can I be the way I am without asking for anything in return? Can I be accepted how I am (odd) without any expectations?
Are people expecting much from me or anything at all? Why are my actions questioned? Or do people need to question them to feel human and or in control, is it their lack of trust or their failure to see who is before them? Does this make me unique? Does it make me one in a whole? Or am I just like everyone else who is trying to figure out this world? Then if that is the case why are there people who are willing to cut each others throat to gain a goal? Rome was not built with the people killing each other. No! they worked together to built up their Utopian world with their thought of just and rule. I am trying to build the same things, but they are questioned, ridiculed and thought less off. People can be cruel but to what benefit to them is their cruelty worth? I often wonder how much would I gain if I was the opposite of who I am now. Then again I also question were would I be if I was a different person. I often wonder what would become of me if I just acted out on my anger! If I would just say EVERYTHING that is in my head, will people respect me ? will they be sicken by me? will they reject me? Will they love me? Will this make me stay in my limbo alone..People hate being lonely yet they usually jump the gun to the first moment they have to abandon their loneliness and be with someone. Then they wished they never have. I often wonder why haven't I jumped that gun? Well I know why, but then again it contradicts me as well. Am I loosing my mind or just become more intolerable? When they look at me what do they think? what do they say? Do they just see a soul with holes or a contained mad man? Are they scare for either good or bad? Do they feel worried? Do they think that its an adventure that will be short live or that its not worth venturing into. Or do they think its not an adventure at all its just a waste of time?...I'm lost in my own train of thought and I must dismiss myself into slumber if that is what I can call it.
Good Night
--
Juan

Smokey-Elefunt!

We fill our lives with so much smoke that we never see where we are going, we begin to point fingers at others when in reality most of our problems started because of us. Sometimes what we need to do is just stop talking and think, allow The Lord to fill our lives with His presence and give Him a chance to help us clear the air.

.....So...Do ....I?

Why do I bring myself down here. and set myself up? Is this a test? Why do I end up in the "zone"
why can't I be content? DO I have a good life? DO I ? huh? why can't you answer me?
What not being what I want to be is a good life? Doing what I didn't go to school for is a good life. Not making the money I want is a good life? Not being with someone I want is a good life?
Why does something so good come by and tease me? What purpose did God have for this to happen? What choices do I have to do Lord? What?! Where do I go from here? Wat do you want me to Do LORD?!! Why haven't you told me? Why so quiet? where is the wind blowing in my life?If you tell me to jump I never ask a thing I just did it. and now that I ask, and now that i want to know where all this jumping is leading to I can't even get an answer. I never saw this coming! I know you did! Why didn't you warn me? what purpose is this...what purpose is all of this LORD!!!
What am I suppose to do here? this isn't an quantom leap episode. I just want a hint, som esort of direction. ....But what do I get??

Well Here we go again

Wow, life has a funny way of teaching yo things, for what purpose I don't know.
I begin to ask myself what purpose does all this have in my life. What ultimate goal am I reaching here that I am going to meet that I need all this training for?
I can understand why I have meet certain hardships in my life, God wanted to mature me. That makes sense, but is everything I go through for maturity. How mature can a person be? And on top of that if it isn't all for maturity than what is it for. Some things are just stupid, and some were pointless, what about those situations? Some situations taught me how to trust and others on how to love, forgive, bless and so on. But some WHY? well I don't know I do hope it has a purpose. I will be very mad if I find out that this had no purpose, no definition for my character, and it was God's way of having a good time. But I don't think God would do that. He is an awesome God. Aside all my hardships I can say far more is that He has blessed me. I am in the teachers union, my relationship with my father, is far better than it was when I was *(which we had none). I can't say my life has been a pain after pain. But there is one area in my life that still needs work on. I don't know how I always end up in the same position, and why do nice guys finish last. I often wonder if I can stop running get on a bike and get to the finish line and get it over with. A good friend once told me, "Juan there's nothing wrong with you, its the people I meet." Its not like I ask to be in these situations I just so happen to be"lucky" enough to be in them. Well more power to me. I have been able to hold on my own and move on. SO why not continue this good trait. Well God Bless Everyone.
Nothing crazy has happened to me, I just wonder when is this all going to end and I can start doing something new with my life that is worthwhile ? far more than my recent adventures. When can I go to the next step in my life and start learning new things. When can that one area of my life be filled and I can move on to working on a new project. do I keep hitting these walls??
When are you going to let me seethe light at the end of the this tunnel??

--
Juan

life flirt

I always wondered what it was like to color outside the lines, to not live that same typical life I have become so accustomed to live. To becoming that vigilante that runs in the night causing all sorts of mayhem! Will this change peoples perspective of me? will it matter if they do?
What benefit do I have if I do break the rules just a little, is it worse if I do it willingly or by mistake. Its hard to not think its being done intentionally but I want to go down that road just once in my life. Smell that street air....She represent the edge, rage hunger and anger that has been growing inside of me. That spark of fearlessness, that hold no man back...She is my Tokyo, that seduces me into the light, into what I believe is my utopia...My Juantopia...
--
Juan
My Japan!

El Chavo Sketch

Ok so now that i am finished I realized that his ginormeous Hammer is not on his shoulder... I guess I got so into coloring i wasn't paying attention. I will have to remake this DAMN This was so much fun I can't wait. either way If I get lazy I can always photoshop it.
--
Juan

Flirt

Yeah she is such a flirt, I drew this from observation, it came out alright. I'm pretty happy of the outcome.
I got a few more to come!
--
Juan

Some new Marker Sketch 5

This asian girl is full of shit. Whatever she went through or whatever she has makes her feel this way
--
Juan

Some new Marker Sketches 4

Yeah this chick is another FOS
Not really feeling her too much but do like how the colors came out
--
Juan

Some new Marker Sketches 3

Yeah this is another one that is Full of Shit!
C'mon look at her, she knows she is full of sh*t and knows that she is better than you!
--
Juan

Some new Marker Sketches 2

This is the one that my friend thought he was full of shit. C'mon you are looking at this and know that this guy is full of shit.
--
Juan

Some new Marker Sketches 1

So I had a character with a huge fro(scroll up) and my friend thought the character looked like he was full of shit! SO I came up with the idea of characters that are full of shit.
F.O.S.
here is one of them

Oldies

Oldie But Goodie

What The??!!

What The?!! that is exactly what I felt when I was at work the other day.
after having to restrain 3 of the 5 students in the unit I work in and being bitten by 1 of them and being kicked by 4 of them, I sat down in the hallway as the students were getting ready for bed, a nostalgic feeling came over me, and I realize I was in a dream...except in reality I was awake, I wasn't dreaming, but I was remembering a dream I had many moons ago. When I was a few years old(10 or so ...probably older) were I was in that same hallway working those kind of kids. I do as if God has been showing me what is to come in my life over the years and never really showed me at the same time, its not like I can do something about it because as soon as I dreamt it I vaguely remembered the dream, and then again who can take their dreams seriously. maybe the dream was closer than I think it is. maybe I didn't dream it so long ago as I like to think. .
Is this a part of my chess game of life is this a stradtegy to get to my goal in life?
I guess I will never know. ............

well it was weird.

You know its crazy, you think sometimes even though things may have not been finished, left undone, because of unlikely circumstances that, well that's it! No more . You wont have to deal with the issue anymore weather you like it or not.
All it took me was one view of her picture and it took me back. It hit me harder than I thought It would. I thought to myself why should I be concerned? Why should I be feeling like this?
Its in the past I can't do nothing about it. what's been done, been done! Simple as that.
She can't see me no more and I the same, so why did I have such an over whelming feeling of downheartedness? Why did I miss her? was it because I never got to set things right. Was it because we were never able to see each others expression as we said its over? Why was I thinking about her all of the sudden? More questions than answers I ask myself what purpose does this have on me? Why should I feel this way. I needed to get a grip of myself and control of the situation.
Later on the following week I was in a dream where the world around me was decaying, lockers were rusting and opening up and human bones sometimes complete and sometimes just random pieces were falling out. The world was in limbo for what it seemed. I walked around figuring this out more curious than scared, in fact fear wasn't a factor it was more the question(yeah another question) Why am I here I don't belong here. I caught a glimpse of her in a passage way, which seemed more surrealistic than Dali's work or that painting that has the stairs coming in and out of random places upside down and right side up. As I caught up to her, because there was no one else to catch up to anyway besides the decaying dead bodies that were around me. , and an awkward pause was before us, and I started to explain myself. and how I hated what had happened between us, and the lies she heard. How I thought we went to fast and never really got to know each other truly. I apologized for the wrongs that I had done and had heard about her and her adventures in her life as well as her new person. I had wished her well and we sat there watching more things decay before us. as her significant other peered us form the corner of his eye. I asked her what now? and I woke up(??)
I often wonder what would really happen if she knew the truth. I also wonder if I really had strong affections for her or was it just a physical attraction? Did we pared up because we looked good together? Or did we have genuine feelings, its confusing for me to answer my own question weather or not I did had the same feelings she did.
I think I lied to myself at that time to think I didn't . But right now it sway too late, I'm not hoping to be with her again, I guess I only wish her well, and she too can take life slow. I can feel like a fool sometimes, I do let my friends opinion sometimes factor into some of my choices but in the end of the night I'm the one facing my issues alone, I sometimes regret having to have listen to them , but I guess for the time being it was well worth it.for the situation that I was in. It needed to have happened. I was lost and need some guidence. I'm glad I'm not there anymore and that i am somewhere else. I'm also glad that nothing really became of it. although I may sometimes wonder what if? I know if what if were to happened I would be somewhere else I wouldn't want to be, I rather be were I am now than were I could have been, and I am glad to say that, that is one what if I am glad and thankfull(to God) that it never happened.

Smaller version

Yeah Its the same thing! No really it is ..well its just smaller.
reason being its for someone.
;-)
Well Gabi Enjoy...
p.s......

Yeah I can finally feel that I am finished, I do feel now that if I work on newer versions I have alot of work to do (since I stepped it up ;p) Well I am glad to know that the girl who inspired this picture is quite happy!!
And that is awesome.

--Juan